I'm so ashamed of my behavior last night in dream land that I want to forget all about it, but the dreams were so vivid and bizarre that I'm going to record them.
The dream opened with me in another man's bed. I had snuck out of the house (that I share with my husband) to visit Devon. Devon was a few years older than me. I was the age that I am now, but the "vibe" of our relationship was that he was an early twenty something and I was an early teenager. When the dream started, I was looking around Devon's "apartment" and at him with disgust and trying to figure out how/why I got myself in this situation and how to get out of it. He was grotesque. His appearance was really similar to the character of Nick Godejohn from the show "The Act" about Gypsy Rose Blanchard. He was tall and skinny and had shaggy, greasy hair. He lived in a shed in his parents' yard near the Kentucky/Tennessee border. "Wolfe County" kept coming to mind in the dream, but it was further south than that. I wanted to leave, and I was afraid of him. His apartment was just what you'd expect from an underdeveloped twenty something. It was messy and didn't have everything it should. At the same time that I was trying to get out of there, I was wrestling in my own mind over how in the world I got there in the first place. I told him I needed to get back home before my husband realized I was gone, even though I knew I had told him I was running errands and he would notice me not being back for hours and hours. This upset Devon. He was making plans for us to be together and I had led him on. I was afraid of a lot of things: that he would kill me, that he would tell my husband I was unfaithful, or that he might even kill my husband. I thought about killing him before any of those things could happen, but I considered the substantial evidence linking us and figured it would be better to take my chances and just try to leave.
The dream starts to mix up a little bit here, so I'll just type up the parts I remember.
I remember being in a large, old shed that either belonged to me or I rented. It was more than a shed and more like a loosely built cabin, something built for hot weather, but airy so not for mosquito country.
The main theme of the dream from this point forward was me getting home from the KY/TN border, and preferably before my husband realized I was gone (which was impossible). I remember seeing a map and knowing that I needed to go east to cross a bridge in a certain city and then travel north. I remember climbing a nearly vertical hill covered in snow with my friend EF. It was so steep and pointed it was more like a roof, and we sat on the peak and laughed about how steep it was before sliding down. Wherever we went it was slow and difficult, and I was stressed about what I would tell my husband when I got home.
Possibly because I had thought about killing Devon, I wanted to destroy the evidence of our relationship. I found a big sewer grade that was just like the air intake for the furnace in my house. I found some papers and shredded them and threw them in. I found a beaded bracelet I had made that said "Elizabeth and Devon. Established 2003 Online. such-and-such county, such-and-such watershed, etc" (it was weirdly specific). I ripped it apart and the beads flew everywhere. I looked down the very deep sewage pit and saw that I had dropped the grate. I worried that someone would have to fish that out and they might discover the evidence. I thought about fishing it out myself, but then I thought maybe they'd leave it because it's so gross and replace it. Just then Devon came around the corner. I had a flash of fear but he was just like "I see how it is" and left.
I needed to find a way home and fast. I thought that even driving it would take ages to get home. I didn't know how to get a ride anyway. I found myself somehow close to magic. I had a big bundle of feathers that was supposed to be a broom I could fly on, but I couldn't figure it out, then I dropped the feathers and the flew everywhere. I went into this big magical training building and got some more information about human flight. When I left there I realized that it helped to have a magical token and that a person had to have a joyful frame of mind to fly. It was hard for me to have a joyful frame of mind because I was so stressed, but I had my token, which were these two small wooden bowls I would clack together like castanets. I also worried that I wouldn't be able to fly with the bowls in my hands. After several tries, I managed to have lift off. It was similar to other flying dreams I have had. I flew very close to the ground, I had to arch my back, and this time I had to flap my arms which, I could see in a shadow, were big, leathery wings. I could also only be seen by children. I was trying to fly over a canal that people were walking beside, but I didn't want to hit anybody, It was slow going, probably not much faster than walking and definitely more difficult. I didn't know how I was ever going to make it.
The end. (So stressful.)
